Fic: 'Advice', Severus and Rita

[purplefluffycat]

Title: Advice
Author: PurpleFluffyCat
Rating: PG
Characters: Severus Snape and Rita Skeeter
Words: About 2000
Summary: Vicious-tongued journalists are not necessarily born that way...

Notes: Written for the snape_rarepairs September challenges: Severus/Rita and 'Power'




As NEWTs drew near, Severus found that school life was not quite as bad as his previous years as an inmate of the castle. Being a seventh-year Slytherin prefect had earned him some status, and life was now more tolerable than before - there were no older students to make him run errands, and as the end of school was in sight the Gryffindor bullies had grown a wider perspective than tormenting old Snivellus within the boundaries of Hogwarts.

Severus was not however, popular. Far from it, in fact, but people had generally learned to give him a wide berth and let him operate alone, just as he wished. His talent in Potions had made him a favourite of Slughorn, which in return for a little lip-service had ensured him a free run of the grounds, access to many expensive ingredients and some contacts that would prove most fascinating when he was to leave school. All he had to do was remain polite and make the old man think he was far more personable and willing to help than he really was.

A peculiar side effect of his new-found status however, was that Severus had somehow become the unwilling champion of a collection of strange little misfits who attempted to shelter under his hardened wings. The unpopular and tormented children had sensed that he was one of them, and they tended to hang around him for protection when their enemies were near. Of course, these students very rarely asked Severus to do anything for them, but as they gathered around him he could sense that a dour, beak-nosed Slytherin prefect with a bad reputation acted as a pretty good deterrent to young bullies.

In general, Severus disliked the attention - he was after all profoundly unimpressed by all of his contemporaries, and even more so by those younger than himself. However, he found it difficult to be actively horrid to the very same children who his own tormentors also chose to victimize - that would be stooping to their spiteful, petty level. No, instead he allowed the little oddballs to co-exist with him, and decided that they would only get their fingers burnt if they came too near.

In moments that he certainly wouldn't admit to, Severus almost felt sorry for some of the cases he saw weeping in the corner of a Slytherin classroom - the fat kid who couldn't ride a broomstick, the Muggle-born girl who was ostracised by her dorm-mates and the swotty child who liked books more than people. They brought back echoes of his own miserable school days which were now, thankfully almost over.

It was one such girl - with mousy brown hair, thick spectacles and frumpy clothes - who approached him on a late winter afternoon in the Slytherin common room. Severus was revising intently and wanted some peace and quiet. She must have been feeling brave indeed to interrupt his solace.

"Excuse me, um... S- Severus... can I talk to you for a moment?" The girl shifted uncomfortably under Severus' glare as he deigned to look up from the book he was reading. He was just about to send her away with a withering remark, but remembered with an inward curse that Slughorn was in the room, being fawned over by some girls who wanted to be singled-out as 'special'. It wouldn't do to be seen to upset one of his younger housemates in front of this source of contacts, so Severus schooled his features into a bland mask and said, "What is it, Miss.... oh dear me, it seems I never bothered learning your name."

"It's Rita. I'm a fourth-year," said the girl, a flush rising in her face at his evident sarcasm, "and I was wondering if I could ask your advice?"

"My advice?" Severus repeated incredulously. People didn't ask him for advice. Facts maybe, or information - as if he might be a useful tool or resource - but certainly not advice. The mere term implied that someone might be interested in his opinion, or value his own personal view, which was certainly never the case.

"Yes, advice." The girl was evidently beginning to quiver, but steadfastly held her ground. "Its just that ... you're really clever, and you do well in all of your subjects and you don't seem to mind that everyone is so nasty all the time ... I was just wondering how you manage it ... because I want to be like that too."

"Oh." Severus considered his response and then smirked to himself as his made a decision. "It's because I'm intelligent and dangerous. Does that answer your question?" He raised one eyebrow in a mock challenge.

"Mmmm, yes..." Rita seemed to be considering something. "Is that why the Gryffindors don't pick on you - because you have power over them?"

"They used to, but they wouldn't dare to any more. They know that I could kill them." Only a slight exaggeration, Severus thought. He could certainly injure them very badly if he wanted to...

Rita looked awestruck, and Severus allowed himself a quick preen and toss of his black tendrils. Impressing a daft fourth-year wasn't much, but it had to be worth something.

"So that's what I need to do - make people frightened of upsetting me!" Rita seemed exhilarated by the idea, but them a puzzled expression crossed her face. "But how on earth can I manage that; I'm really no good at the Dark Arts."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll find your own special way," Severus said dismissively, hoping the conversation was at an end. He turned back to his book, but couldn't concentrate as Rita continued to stare at him, clearly wanting to know more. Severus allowed the pause to elongate, but couldn't stand the girl's rapt attention for much longer. He then conceded to having to speak again and snapped, "Well, surely you must be tolerable at some subjects? What about Charms?"

"Not much good," she replied dejectedly, "I can only just about make a feather move."

"Never mind, the quill is supposed to be mightier than the sword and all that." The joke was clearly lost on the girl, but Severus decided that he could at least entertain himself if he was doomed to have this excrutiating conversation. "What about Transfiguration then?"

"Not too bad. Professor McGonagall said that I might have a natural talent for the subject if I tried a bit harder."

"Well, there you go. I'm sure it will come in useful one day," Severus said patronisingly. "About as useful as remembering the dates of all those nifty goblin rebellions, I don't doubt..."

Again, the irony seemed lost on Rita and she squealed, "Oh don't even mention History of Magic! I try ever so hard to remember all the facts and things but its no good. When Professor Binns returned my last essay he said that it would only pass as a piece of creative writing!"

"Oh well, there's some merit in creative writing," Severus said absently.

"Do you really think so?" Rita seemed strangely excited and illuminated by the idea, wide-eyed and searching for a stronger approval.

"Erm, well..." Severus was unsure how to reply, but was saved the trouble as their exchange was then interrupted by a flood of bodies toward the door. On closer inspection, all of the people who had moved had been male, and all were affecting exaggerated nonchalance as they just-so-happened to position themselves in the walkway between the entrance to the common room and the doorway to the sixth-year girls' dormitory.

The reason for this mass hormone-fuelled migration became obvious just then, as Narcissa Black walked through the door. She was wearing a pale-blue, backless satin cocktail dress that was much too skimpy for the chilly March weather, topped off by an enormous fur shawl made from some endangered sub-species of Kneazle. Her steps were slow and dainty as she teetered on flimsy high-heeled silver sandals and accepted a supporting hand from any number of the men who were fawning about her.

"Wow, she's amazing," cooed Rita with starry eyes beneath her heavily-framed glasses. Severus merely snorted at the shallowness of it all.

Narcissa shot a bright-white smile to several of her admirers and then sashayed over to Professor Slughorn, who had turned from the girl with whom he was conversing to give the newcomer his full attention. "Been out with Mr. Malfoy have you Narcissa? Well, he should count himself jolly lucky, as you're quite a prize, my girl, quite a prize."

"Thank you sir," Narcissa simpered.

"Mmmm, yes." Slughorn continued, manoeuvring his bulk closer to the delicate waif, "Whichever young chap manages to get you along the aisle will be doing very well for himself, and you young purebloods do tend to marry early, don't you? I tell you, if I was a few decades younger..."

"Yes sir, quite so." She smiled vacantly. "I'm just going to bed now sir, if I might be excused?"

"Yes, you do that, my girl," replied Slughorn, "even the prettiest need their beauty sleep don't they? You run along now." He moved to give her an ostensibly good-humoured pat on the shoulder, but Severus could glimpse how a plump roaming hand also skimmed down Narcissa's back to cup her pert bottom for a fraction of a second. Narcissa then disappeared up the stairway to her bedroom, and the atmosphere in the common room relaxed to its usual bland hubbub.

"I'd give anything to be like that!" sighed Rita, "just look at the effect she has on all the men in the room - even Professor Slughorn!"

Severus reflected that it was just his luck to still be stuck talking to the dull brat, and by then his patience was wearing dangerously thin. Luckily, Slughorn was just heading toward the door, so he could break the pretence at friendliness. "Well that's easy then," he replied in a voice that was dripping with sarcasm, "Paint your nails, change your name, dye your hair - blonde, or possibly bright red - wear inappropriate clothes and too much make-up -" His eyes roamed over the girl's dumpy figure clad in a sensible plaid skirt, shapeless cardigan and grandmothers' pearls. "- and in your case, buy a corset."

With that, Severus dramatically swept up his books and marched toward his bedroom, determined to escape from irritating girls and daft questions.

*****

The weeks rolled by, and Severus thought nothing of his peculiar exchange with the funny, dull girl until a particular Saturday lunchtime in April. While cross-referencing Potions notes, his eye was caught by a brightly-coloured piece of parchment lying on one of the common-room coffee tables. It was entitled, The Slytherin Sidewinder: Your Guide to the Hottest House Gossip, and also tempted with gory subheadings to include, Alexandra Nott - Saint or Slut?, Which Quidditch Star has the Smallest Broom-Handle? and Ten Things that Regulus Black Didn't Want You To Know. All of the articles were written by some girl with a silly rhyming pen-name, and it took Severus some minutes to associate the character who had asked him for help with the author of this lurid publication.

Just on cue, Rita then strutted through the door, accompanied by an excited crowd who were all clutching a copy of her magazine. She was squeezed into a small and very bright pink mini-skirt with a dragon-skin belt clinched too-tight at the waist. A plunging cleavage, ridiculously high stilettos and cherry-red curls completed the outfit.

"Hey, Severus!" Rita called cheerily across the room. He tried to look away, but it was clearly too late as she was scuttling over to where he was standing. "Thanks for the advice - it's working wonders! Everyone's too scared to be horrid to me now, and I've been lent some brilliant clothes and invited to some great parties!"

Severus nodded mutely, still goggling at the extraordinary sight before him. Rita flashed him a toothy smile and then trotted back to her rather hyperactive fans.

Later that evening, Severus silently reflected that he felt like a character from one of those Muggle horror novels; through just a few misplaced words he had unwittingly created a monster.